On Doubt and Love

On Doubt and Love.

My mother always tells me a little story about an elderly black lady who wished to buy a three legged cooking pot from my grandmother’s rural trading store, many years ago. The pots were chained and locked in order to avoid theft. The elderly lady carefully inspected each pot in turn – and then chose one of her liking. She left, happy with her purchase.

A few hours later though – she arrived back, and demanded to choose another pot. Upon enquiring, she simply told my grandmother “I have my doubts!”. Astonished – my grandmother asked her why she had her doubts about the pot? She could not give a suitable answer – except that she just felt that the pot was not right. My grandmother exchanged it for another similar pot, and the old lady was happy, as the new pot “felt right”.

This little story made me think about the human expression of doubt, and what it means in a more metaphysical sense. The human being – in its vastness of individual emotional expression, has become so encultured as a result of the establishment of Negative Law instead of Kantian Positive law (Groundwork of the Metaphysics of Morals), that it has saturated our thinking and denies us individual expression.

Whatever positives manifest in our lives – we always have to question it. Everything must be justified, analyzed and interrogated. If not for our protection, laws in the main limit our choices of free expression. And I am not talking simply about institutional law – I am talking about the unseen cultural and moral expression of law in our social environment. It is all fear based – on the “what if” and the “what about” issues of societal enculturization.

As human beings – there are five causes for our suffering. According to the Vedas, they are:

• Ignorance about the nature of reality (Ego denial)
• Identification with the ego (Ego power)
• Attraction towards objects of desire (Ego desire)
• Repulsion from objects of desire (Ego protection)
• Fear of death. (Ego fear)

These are the basic negative ego-responses that make us suffer or feel happy – even if only

temporary by nature. The fact is that we constantly fluctuate between these states of mental existence because of fear and doubt. Simply put – we doubt, and then fear the expression of Love. Readers of this column will know that I always emphasize our lack of Love expression. We are all just too insecure to allow Love. We doubt ourselves, and fear our love expression as it is in conflict with our sosio-cultural conditioning.

Ever stood in the shopping mall admiring (desire) that Gucci handbag? Ever stood there rationalizing in your mind why you should not buy it? The object of desire has suddenly become the object of repulsion (aversion), and you turn away from it, thinking rather of the money you can save (avoidance of future pain). We do the same with emotional expression (fear of death or hurt).

In the broader scheme of things, we dis-empower ourselves, those around us, and unconsciously transfer these thought processes onto our children, family and other individuals. The mind is like a transistor radio and is a social instrument – it tunes into other minds on a similar wavelength, and you receive the signal, which is transformed into thoughts through the mechanisms of telepathy or intuition.

Mostly this goes unnoticed, as it is absorbed by the personal unconscious and filed neatly away, to be used as a defense mechanism when it is needed again, i.e.; that handbag is of limits – that cute guy is of limits – Love is of limits.

In other words – “I have my doubts”.

So we trundle along and choose the “safe options” in life – those things that we believe cannot hurt us. It is sad that our safe options are usually not safe options. Safe options out of necessity operate on coping mechanisms. “I would rather go with that”, says the ego, “because I know how to deal with it”. “I will not go with that”, says the ego, “because that is an uncertain option”.

And so we disenfranchise ourselves by limiting our love choices, basing them on doubt and fear, rather than on the felt expression.

Love, the unreachable, unseen part of the Authentic Self, which we deny with vehemence, and rather express as desire.

We become victims of our own insecurities, and we commit emotional suicide. This victim-consciousness is a scourge to ourselves. It is time for us to experience Love, and reject fear and doubt. Resurrect yourself, become that whom you truly are, follow the road of wonder that so amply awaits you. Experience anew the abundance of your being-ness, instead of walking the broadways of the herd. It will not hurt you – love never does. It simply empowers.

That is what I choose.

Much Love and Light

Deon