As I was painting a mind-scene today, a beautiful sorghum field outside an imaginary town in the Free State, (well, I remember the scene, but cannot place the location) my thoughts went out to a friend in need. Yes, we plant and we grow stuff. In more ways than we can even imagine.
Listening to a particularly poignant sonata by the composer, Franz Schubert last night, I was compelled to unearth some philosophical scriblings on his music I had written down ten or so years ago, highlighting our empathetic nature, as human beings. I have to admit – that at the time I was suffering the loss of a very good friend, my piano teacher for many years, Laurie Potgieter. If it were not for his unwavering belief in my musical abilities, and his continuing development of my “music empathy” I would not have become a tolerable pianist. Simply put – I was scared of musical emotion.
I had the power on the piano – and also the sensitivity – but I simply could not reconcile the two inputs as a coherent effort. In one moment, I would strike chords like Gina Bachauer on steroids, or I would flounder and produce a too florid rendition of the Moonlight sonata, devoid of any movement or dynamics, as would befit a rookie.
While learning an impromptu by Schubert, Laurie accused me of playing it as if I was fighting with a jackhammer demolishing the piano. “I cannot understand why you show the music no emotional respect”, he said. I understand now, why, but he did not, so his comments were justified, and also not justified. You see – I had a very limited technique. And to make matters worse, which I think contributed to the technique issue, was that I was (am) an ADHD sufferer.
Because of this disability, ADHD sufferers are notoriously ill equipped in the art of patience. We do not have patience, simply because we are insecure about our own abilities. Therefore, we try and get it over with as quickly as possible. Why? Under pressure we flounder, and the mind takes on an energy that we cannot control. Stage fright.
That is why we start things of, and never seem to complete it. It is not that ADHD sufferers lack the ability, and we must distinguish here between the various sub-groups of this disability, but that some sufferers simply do not believe they can pull it off.
You see – this lack of self-confidence is bred from early childhood. As we absorb the information that makes us who we are, we invariably also absorb the projected images of others, and adopt those belief systems. It does not stop in our formative years either, for as we experience and interact, sometimes destructively, we adopt more truths which eventually taints our minds and cause us to live in less than appropriate ways. And think in less than appropriate ways. And here I mean, think bout everything in less than appropriate ways.
Some of us are lucky – in that we develop very good coping mechanisms to the dis-ease, and turn out to be super-successful. Others are not that lucky – as they find themselves (drawn by habit and other sosio-cultural factors) bound to situations and conditions as prescribed by their framework of reference.
I remember where my problem with the piano started. Our next-door neighbor was a music teacher – and I asked my mother (at age six) to please ask if she would teach me. The music teacher refused – as I was not a good candidate – in her words, “he plays by ear, therefore I cannot teach him”. I was devastated. To make matters worse – this rejection of a desire and also of me as a human being, was made worse, as I was sent packing to boarding schools for 10 years, simply because of practical considerations.
This was a double whammy, and those two singular acts (although well intended) set the course of my life, my thoughts, my self worth, self confidence and self value. As a child of six – the trauma is enormous, and the feelings of rejection even worse. It is like a tree being uprooted and planted somewhere else – then uprooted again, and planted in a different location, simply because the landscaping plan changes every year or so.
Do not get me wrong here – as there is no blame intended, as all of this was done with proper intent as to the sustainability of the family unit, as well as the observations of the music teacher. It was her belief that I was un-trainable, and it was my mother’s belief that I would be safer in boarding schools. That was simply the way it was done then, as part of the governments welfare and educational policies.
Yet – where does all of this leave us? How does it influence our personal unconscious, and our behavior patterns? Do we come out of the experiences unscathed, as balanced adults? How does it influence our thinking, our creativity, and our life skills? How do we reconcile our insecurities in a competitive environment? In other words, how do we think unconsciously?
This is scary stuff.
Defense mechanisms taint our life, which becomes chronically adopted, and we become resentful. We can even become entitlement junkies – feeling bullied and so become the bullies ourselves. Or we can fall into victim consciousness and play the role of poor Eliza. We can become extreme narcissists – refusing to accept anything less than the best for ourselves, and do anything to attain those goals. And we can become fearful – developing a lack consciousness that can also have debilitating consequences. The palette of emotional disabilities is endless.
Yet – it is our thought patterns that is the most telling here – and returning to my heading – I wish to make everyone aware of the energy created by thoughts. Everyone that I council these days, comment on the way thoughts manifest – sometimes immediately, but without fail, within a few days or hours. And it affects not only organic thought patterns and objects – in-organic stuff as well.
Our minds are conditioned in certain ways of thinking – as a result of trauma induced by environmental stimuli and experiences. We also relate these mind conditions – to instruments, electronic equipment, cars etc. as we negotiate each day. For instance – you drive of and think about that scratch which is bothering you, and you wish you could fix it. The thought creates a potentiality, and bingo! Someone drives into you, and the fender bender is located at exactly the scratch that bothered you.
Or, your DVD player is not functioning, and you wish you could replace the bloody thing. Next day they break into your house and steal just that item. I had the experience when my car overheated – and since then, I am fearful of the car I am driving overheating. Guess what happens? They all overheat. It is either the thermostat, or water pump or some arbitrary something that malfunctions.
Take animals – I have a fear of my dogs being run over, since I ran over Destiny – about eight months ago. Since then the fear has grown to the extreme of over-protection. Guess what – another one gets run over, by my neighbor. I have lost three computer hard-drives in three months – and why? Because I have developed a fear of my computers crashing, since the first time it did last year.
So – my point is that giving energy to potential problems will manifest them. Where the attention goes – the energy goes – even if unconscious in its origin. Think about a person these days – and they contact you. We link mind power with objects and people – and this is our new quantum reality. As we move deeper into 4th density – we connect on levels that was previously not possible.
We even harbor new electromagnetic powers – as our cellular structure is changing into crystalline/silica composition, the peizo-electrical nature of our bodies is changing. As the crystalline structure stresses – immense energy is released, sometimes blowing light bulbs, hard-drives, amplifiers and the like.
In order to force change in our thinking – the powers that is will cause strange things to happen. Like – your vacuum cleaner suddenly coming to life? What is it that you need to “suck up” and discard? Your printer malfunctioning? What is it that you want to print? Maybe look at it again? Or – my personal favorite – outlook express suddenly hangs…freezes, just as you want to send that e-mail. Control-alt-delete, and it is gone. Lets start over – and then more clarity comes into being, and you write with proper intent and cut out the crap.
So, as Metatron says – impeccability of thought. No wonder they make such an issue of it, the Ascended Masters and all those on high. I can see the lesson here.
We are so conditioned, and project our fears and ego-needs (yes, it is all fear based) to such an extent that it impacts our lives on all fronts. You think something like “I have to be careful here”, and it manifests.
So – please do not swear at your car, fear for the life of your dog or cat, fear the love that is being offered, fear the power of others, be scared of ghosties and goalies, say no to help, and generally create unnecessary thought patterns that can impact your physical existence.
We live in new, exciting times. Things are not what they used to be. So, discard the old isms and ego-behaviors and create anew. I know – I am a fine one to talk. But we can try and give it our attention, by becoming self-conscious of our thoughts and actions. Not even a “cancel, cancel, cancel” is going to help anymore. We have to avoid the potential.
And that is quite a task.
Much Love and Light.
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