The Perfect Fit

I have this friend, whom I will not mention by name, that always bombards me with questions that is never really asked – prompting me to answer as best I possibly can. And I am very grateful, for it forces me to enter a passive meditative state, and obtain the information from that which is always accessible, the personal Akash, or personal unconscious, whatever we wish to call it. Sometimes I need to meditate deeply on these matters, and access the wisdom of Universal Consciousness. Other times I need to research first, that which came to me, in order to verify for myself that answer which was provided.

Emerging spirituality, in a sense, can be a very daunting process. Once we start on that journey, it is impossible to turn around and regain our previous existence. The knowledge we acquire becomes intoxicating, almost like Imelda Marcos shopping for shoes! Within that mode of thinking and discovery – we also detach from that which we have come to accept as normal behavior, and on a subtle level, our Higher Selves starts prompting our conscious thoughts with questions that challenges our value systems.

So the question was raised, on relationships, as to why we prefer certain stereotypes, or archetypical expressions of human appearance. Like yip, I like someone that is slender and well built. Or, I like them blonde, with shapely legs and all the other physical embellishments that goes with that image of perfection, a false archetypical illusion that we all ascribe to. It is so encultured in us, through mass media representation of the perfect human being, that we miss the point of Love and Sharing. Outer appearances become paramount to our partner choices, and we completely miss the mark. So, dysfunctional relationships are the order of the day, and we start creating our own discomfort.

Someone once said – “looking deep into your eyes, I can get lost in your Soul, for that is where I shall find true Love”. And that is exactly it. Outer appearances can be deceiving. Basing our choice of life partners on outer appearances and the resultant false sense of Love that appears in the form of lust (both physical and emotional) and immediate gratification of our own perceptions, limits our freedom of choice, free will and true expression of Love. True, we are human beings, and as such have been endowed by our Creator with an unlimited scope of experience choices. Through those experiences, fuelled by our free will, we learn very valuable lessons, which have the effect of raising our vibrations, and thus cultivate a deeper spiritual purpose, understanding and perceptions. And then again some of us just trundle along, caught up in the physicality of duality.

Do we ever just sit down and think on these things? Do we ever evaluate, through introspection, exactly what we are doing to ourselves? How we limit ourselves, basing our prototype of the perfect life partner or husband on physical appearances and enculturized expectations of behavior, personality traits and peer approval. We are not only disenfranchising ourselves, but other Souls as well. Even worse, we may miss our main reason for having incarnated this time, by not fulfilling our life contract, which will necessitate us coming back to do it all over again.

Through our judgmental view of that which is the perfect partner, we are sacrificing the Self. We allow no room for growth, and look only as far as the physical and not the beauty within.

It is true that we have certain preferences, both in personality type, physical appearance, social standing and mental compatibility. But have we ever thought about how these preferences came to be? What the underlying factors was that determined our evaluation of another human being in terms of being acceptable and suitable? No, we have not. We keep on walking our path of personal relationships with blinkers that has been placed there by others, not ourselves. We have been told by such and such that so and so are so and so. We are being bombarded by tabloids and other magazines as to the perfect specimen, what we should aspire to, and worse of all; we have allowed ourselves to become Pavlovian pawns that have been conditioned to follow by example. Monkey see monkey do.

A sad state of affairs, when you consider that the net effect is that we are depriving ourselves of authentic Love. In this search for perfection we can never become that. We are never good enough, never fit enough, never beautiful enough, and always insecure as to our own Self-worth. And as a result, we expect the same behavior from those that we align ourselves with. Why do we allow ourselves to be limited by this sad enculturization? It is only logical that it will result in disfunctionality.

Do not get me wrong here either – I am not saying that we should consider a life partner who is not compatible with our own personality type, social preferences and value systems. That in itself is also a misalignment of our purpose, and pandering to our own fear of being alone, or simply wanting to have someone.

I am simply saying. Let us look deep inside ourselves, re-align our value systems and perceptions to be in line with the new way of being. We cannot all be the perfect human being. We have different body types. Someone can be bulky but fit. I do not for one moment think that a very large Springbok prop is not fit. He has to be. I cannot for one moment think that a mother who has had children, and now suffers the physical effects of childbirth, is less worthy, or now physically compromised, and now not suitable as a partner anymore.

We are human beings. It is encumbant on us to express with unlimited intent our willingness to be fair to ourselves. And how can we be, if we keep on aligning to false delusions of ourselves and others. We deny ourselves our true being. We deny ourselves the beauty of the inward Soul. And we deny ourselves Love as we are searching in the wrong places.

Ever thought – wow – what a lovely guy or girl – but then shy away as the physical did not fit your perception of a beautiful shoe…..

Wise up. Time is up. Either we stop the evil of enculturized behavior and self induced peer pressure, and allow it to dictate our beingness, or we stop it in its tracks and think for a moment. Otherwise will remain Pavlovian pawns, acting simply on conditioned impulses. Let us open ourselves to Love. And searching for it in past-tense expectations and stupid little defense patterns which makes us shy away will not bring us happiness, nor self acutalization.

So love Self first, and then love another. And only by letting go of past limitations can we achieve that.

Much Love and Light